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Aching head and an aching world.
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| hello world! |
[06/30/08 @ 8:11pm] |
Well i'm sitting here thinking about all this stuff and i remembered my journal. I honestly can't keep up with this anymore. I'm never home or i'm never in the mood to say anything. There's nothing import going on or anything to type about. Summer is here and i'm happy :) Things have been good and yes there has been drama but same stuff as always. Thing's got better though, a lot better. Phill's birthday was fun and i'm glad alexa and him are better. Went to St. Gregs. Went to PA. So far so good. I love summer because of the whole no school thing but i kinda miss seeing so many people from school. ohwell! Warped tour is around the corner and i'm REALLY stoked for that. Saw the spill canvas June 6thh. So, so, so amazing! That was the fourth time in a row with Bex. It's been tradition since way back to the first time we've ever saw them together. I remember the first time we went and staying after and meeting Nick and Landon, good times. Also since my last post i did what i never thought i would do. Yes, mushrooms. Insert you thinking i'm a stupid retard here. Okay, onto the story! I did what i wanted to do and what i wanted to do was experience this amazing thing that i've heard about. It was a half day after and school and i pretty much planned out the whole thing perfectly. I went into town with Alexa and Phill, 11:35 around there. Went to Lapiazza and ate them. It took about and hour or so for them to actually kick in and i was a nervous wreck.
I'm hoping everything i'm excited for this summer works out! It's already July, where does the time go?
Hmm, maybe i'll update in another month or two :)
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[04/22/08 @ 8:28pm] |
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Holy hell, i forgot i even had this thing. I just re-read a lot of these entries and they kinda make me sad. I never realized how much thing's change and how much you could miss things. Change is so constant in my life and i don't think i like it. All i know is that alexa,ange, and phill are the only things in my life that don't change, and i like that very much. I love them! But people always seem to come and go. I think it's my fault though because i've noticed i such at keeping touch with people. I say "i'll call you!" or "we're hanging out soon." but somehow i tend to forget and not make the plans that were suggested. I don't mean to, i wish i didn't do that.
There's been so much on my mind lately though, tooo much thinking for me. I've got to make 3439 decisions and there is not enough time for them. Plus, I've completly lost my parents trust and i don't think i should do anything else that may result in the same way. But there are so many thing's that just keep messing with my head. They're stupid to most people but hey, it's my choice. Another bad choice but what the hell. I don't know.
I talked to Josh about a lot on the phone a couple of days ago. It really made me think about life and experiences, all that jazz. You never know until you try something, you know? You never know how crazy your mind could work unless you try it. You never know anything until it's proven to yourself. Well, Yeah. So we talked about my thoughts on certain thing's and why. I think i know what i want to do and i'm set on that. Lalala. Then about my parents. I seriously think that shrooms may be the coolest thing i've ever heard of. OKAY, before you go all "omg, are you serious?! that's a fucking drug. You're an idiot. What the hell are you thinking??" just chill. I'm aware, i've heard it all before. It's just a thought. Can't you be curious about something with out someone jumping down your throat. I like people who take the time talk about it with me instead of just acting like they're some scientist who know's EVERYTHING. Plus, like i've been told before by this kid dave, those people who come to our school to teach us just want to SCARE us. But then again, drugs only have this "bad" feel about them. Nobody cares about learning about them they just care about abusing them or bashing them. I don't do drugs like acid, heroin, cocaine, or any of them and i never plan on it. However i would love to learn about them and hear what they could do to the human body. I have tried weed and it's not all it's cracked up to be. I mean sure it's fun but people who're pot heads? Seriously, must you go home every day after school and smoke your bong? Whatever. Then you have shrooms. Probably one of the coolest drugs i've heard of. It alters your mind and can change the world right before your very eyes. You can see yourself walking right before your eyes. aka. an out of body experience. You can see the walls breathe and hear the music morph into your ears. You can hear the music, but really hear it. You can look at your tile floor and see the patterns moving before your eyes. Even when you close your eyes you can see shapes and figures floating around your eyes. Or you could look at the sky and see faces, look at your posters and see them come to life. Now tell me that doesn't sound interesting?
Above is the reason why i'm so courious about mushrooms. I know the pro's and con's, i knowwwww. I've had about three people who've done them tell about their trips and sure at moments they were scary but in the end it's one of the most amazing experiences. All three have told me that it's changed them and it's changed their lives. You may think i'm an idiot still but hey, your opinion. Do what you want. I have so many people telling me not to because "you'll die." "you're going to go insane." "you're going to be addicted" Well, not really. I talked to Josh about all of this and he's been the best for advice. 1) It's not an addictive drug, at all. 2) You won't go insane. It's over when it's over. 3) Nobody has "died" from shrooms says Josh, idk apparently he researched it before hand. But he told me not to listen to my friends even though they're just trying to help. I don't know. It's all crazy.
That's basicly what's been on my mind lately.
But since i last updated here's some info
-florida was amazing.
-everything since then has been pretty good.
-like always there were problems but they've been patched up.
-i like how thing's are going lately, i still miss somethings.
I don't think anyone reads this anymore.
Oh well, i needed to get that out somewhere.
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[12/09/07 @ 7:14pm] |
it's been forever and some more since i've updated. thing's have changed drasticly and then went back to normal and such as for some time now. all i can say is for once i think i'm happy with how thing's are going. I've made so many mistakes and sometimes thing's are just over whelming. Everything's been going good, i like it.
This thursday i leave for a week.
florida with choir, more imporantly florida with my best friends.
So this weekend was good.
Friday was the show :)
got to red bank
ate at alexa's dad's resturant.
chas came, then we all went to the show.
we couldn't find a parking which resulted in walking in freezing weather.
went to the itnernet cafe.
Saw justin!
and some other people.
starbucks, got kicked out of zebu twice, walked around.
drive home was halarious.
chas missed the exit twice
ange and i sung to everything.
we yelled at closed burger king machines.
then went to wawa.
got home late, parent's both sleeping, i like how they really care about me :)
went shopping saturday
sunday, today, i just chilled.
the end
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[09/29/07 @ 1:25pm] |
it's been so long since i've accually posted in this.
and recently thing's have been good, for the most part.
basicly, school turned out not so bad.
thing's are just weird i guess.
everything with james is just, stessful?
and i hate when people don't even give the time to talk about it.
it's annoying and immature, =\
Ange and i have been lurking new egypt for ever.
and we met some people.
So yeah, we eneded going to the NE battle of the bands.
seeing them.
Last night ange, alexa, and i went to the mall.
met up with phil and danielle.
went outside, walked.
met up with chris and his friends paul and steve, new egypt kids.
then phil left and such.
we eneded up going to see a movie at 10:20.
but alexas mom came and picked her up =\
so yeah, chris' mom drove us all home.
The back seat was horrible, it was chris, me, paul, and ange on chris and my lap.
Funniest thing ever.
I got home late and i'm really tired.
i have no clue what i'm doing today.
but whatever, that's all.
<3
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[09/05/07 @ 10:09pm] |
school started again.
why do i have a feeling this year's missing something.
It's not like it used to be.
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[08/23/07 @ 11:38pm] |
forget everything i said.
that's all.
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[08/16/07 @ 11:59pm] |
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so this week went by way too fast.
saturday i went to the dump with ange, the funiture store.
but before that we stoped at shoprite and bj's, haha.
then headed to the mall after that.
sunday my sister came home.
don't remember much of that day.
monday who knows.
tuesday talked to alexa :D
she came home that day.
then yesterday ange and i went to the mall.
that was fun and interesting.
we were meeting up with James, turns out his blinker light went out.
He went back home, changed it, met us at the mall.
then we went to cvs bought drinks and rushed out of the mall.
James took us to the movie theater and we saw rush hour 3.
it was funny but not my type of movie, but it was okay.
then we chilled in the parking lot for awhile and waited for my mom.
today i went to the mall again with my sister.
and tomrrow i may be going to a with love comes sacrifice show.
=]
summers almost over =\
haven't done any work yet, ssfjldf.
ehh, that's all.
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[07/18/07 @ 10:04pm] |
update, oh wow.
so sunday i saw harry potter with alexa and ange.
we had some shop rite adventures and funny car rides.
i love them both.
then we went to the No hollywood Ending Show yesterday, with other bands.
The Kisscut, With Love Comes sacrifice, At Rest, A hollywood Homicdie. etc.eect
met up with james in the begining.
it took forever for us to get in and it was so hot outside.
but the guys there were pretty damn gorgeous, yeah.
:)
Good show, in the begining.
then ange, andy, and I took a little field trip to an indian kinda wawa.
we ran inside and went into the coolers and ice boxes, lmao yeah.
so we spent 2943943 hours in there, making a mess.
trying to make slush puppies, oh god.
then we walked back to the show.
NHE was good.
Everyone dancing were suprisingly good.
Overall, not bad at all.
Then it was over and we all were leaving.
There were cops, and jame's flipping out cause ange goes;
"Pass the weed!" really loud, just for fun.
so we have like 93943 cops in the area and it's mad funny.
we finally convince james to drive us to the deli, ha.
we break too many laws.
alexa, ange, and i flipping out because we're like that.
and then you have the whole
"pull over, pull over."
okay.
"pretend your getting out of the car, get out, get out!"
(&keep in mind james is dieing from being punched/kicked/injured from the crowd while driving us four to a deli when braking the law, wow the kid must have been flipping out inside of his head.)
hahahahah, wow.
Good times, good times.
<3
That's All.
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[07/11/07 @ 11:40pm] |
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Summer has been so good so far. So many freaking shows, not enough time. I really wish i could drive because my parent's are kind of getting sick of having to drive me places and to venues about an hour and 43 minutes away. haha, but yes. i've been busy, life's good. i have the years gone by show to look forward to, and then tuesday james, ange, alexa, and I all get to hang out again, together at the No Hollywood Ending show. I'm pretty stoked to hear them, and then the other one on the 27th. :) My cousin let me hear their album before it came out and it's some good, good stuff. anyway, I'm excited for that! Went to the freedom fest tonight with some cool kids, but it was pretty lame, idk i liked it better in allentown. Bring me the Horizon show, augest 13, fking insane. :D and warped tour, having fun, tents! hahaha, funny. I guess that's all i have to say? I thought i should update, haven't been much.
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[06/10/07 @ 11:07pm] |
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degrassi on tv |
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Wow i've gotten slow with updateing this thing, i kinda miss it. So there's good things and bad things that have been going on lately, yep. But when aren't there? I haven't updated in four weeks and i honestly don't know what to write down here. School's almost out and it's a mixture of excitement yet very disapointing. I can't really put a finger on it but there are so many thing's i'll miss. Anyway, this weekend was slow and all. Next weekend is what i'm really looking forward to. Anyway this has been my life for as long as i can remember.
MONDAY - FRIDAY
Wake up
Go to school
Walk around aimlessly
Go to classes
Go to Lunch, with team bitch in line =]
Lunch, now outside
More classes
Then stay after with some random ass kids, who are more then awesome.
And the weekends i see some of my awesome friends, and have fun.
everything has been really good, well i try to make it good. but a lot has been bugging me and of course i never let people in. I don't like talking about "what's wrong" or what's on my mind. I feel like i'd be complaining too much and being people with problems that aren't theirs. You're supposed to talk to your friends about shit that bothers you but then again i always think why talk about it? why bother trying to explain everything you're feeling when ultimatly you're just going to be the only one who understands? I've made mistakes and i'm making mistakes and there are somethings i wish i could go and earse in my life. I just want to put that all behind me and i'm really triyng. but sometimes thing's are that easy and you just can't put stuff in the past, as much as i'd like to it doesn't work that way. I can't wait until high school is over, i want that soon. I can't wait to move out and move on with my life. To meet new people and experience thing's that have been beyond my reach all these years. I've never wanted something so much, and i feel so UGH and trapped in this place. My mom never stops complaining about me and i can never doing anything to please anyone in this house. I wish they'd just ship me off to some school. HAHA, and my mom told me she would if i was caught doing drugs or any thing of that kind. that's real nice now isnt it. ahhh, i really hate complaining and going on about this but this is the only place i can't let it out. Whatever, i've been thinking and i really know when school's over i'm out of here, far away. Far from everything, mostly from this little dumb town. Blahh! I've got some amazing friends, and i guess that's all i could ever ask for.
that's all, goodbye.
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| hello world. |
[05/13/07 @ 12:35am] |
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eyes set to kill |
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I couldnt begin to tell you how great things are still going.
It's like before i knew it everything started looking up.
I don't know where to start or where to end, but i'll try.
Yesterday was bash for cash, that went pretty damn good. At first i wasn't gonig to go, but james persuaded me. Anyway, i got there and i was like, shit no one is going to be here tonight. But as i crossed the road i found james, and i was told there were about 20 poeple inside. Well that was nice news, i thought the night was going to suck at that point. But it didn't, the bands were really good. They played, i laughed. Jame's and his dancing, it never gets old. But, yeah. The night was good.
I've spent everyday after school this week, they were such good days.
Monday i stayed for a test and saw james.
Tuesday i stayed with den and danielle, funny ass times.
Wensday i stayed with alexa and james, town and to heirtage park.
We talked and watched clouds and graffitied a bench, fun :)
then i went on the bus with mr. grifffith and talked about how happy he was.
Then thursday i stayed after again, went to alexas and picked up her sisters.
Then we went over to byron and met up with James, again.
We sat at the park for awhile and just talked, saw a molster hahaa
I talked to this kid josh, from georgia. and some other kid justin wise.
They both made my day funny, idon't even know them but their alexas friends.
Then Yesterday i stayed after again with James and Alexa.
James had to get Organized and has to make an A on his test, or else.
Then we walked alexa home, then me an james walked back to the school.
During that time i got attacked by a freaking thorn bush, it freaking hurt.
Then we just sat around until my mom came, then at 630 i left for bashforcash.
end of entry. that has been my life this week.
dunno when i'll update again, who knows.
<3
Oh, and battle of the bands turned out good. :)
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| we're the new face of failure. |
[05/03/07 @ 10:09pm] |
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the years gone by |
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Where to start, no clue. I haven't updated in forever, wow. So much has happened it's crazy. I've been the happiest person this whole week, i love it. I love people and smiles and everything. It's just great. I love lunch, i don't ever get to eat though. It's always running around with den, and mike's table, throwing stuff at todd and CJ. Hahaha, wow. Anyway, yesterday was a good day. The trip was random and boring, but what can i say it's choir. Then i got back and met up with ange and james. We went into town and ate pizza, then got ice cream. Those two kids make my day, they can make me laugh whenever. Ange and i found out jame's has this thing with his legs, haha. I wont go into detail because that'd be kinda mean, but yeah. Tomrrow's battle of the bands, i'm excited to see johnny, & jame's band. And of course hearing daves band, that should be interesting. Life, it's good. It annoys me to see people who never give up on trying to impress people. It's really funny accualy. I've noticed that even the most annoying people, the one's who make me wanna punch a wall everyday, yeah those people, well they need someone to blow off steam to, and sometimes if you listen, listen closely you'll see that they too are just a person who needs someone sometimes. Yes, they're annoying and yes they're rude and can be a jerk but if you really put in an effort to listen to them and hear what's really going on in their heads you'll find something you never knew about them. Ah, well anyway. I'm going to go charge my camera and sleep, i'll update in another month or two, hahah<3
Peace.
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[04/09/07 @ 10:51pm] |
bye spring break, you were amazing.
<3
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[04/06/07 @ 1:50pm] |
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allister, :) |
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okay so ill update about last night. ange and i went to the mall becase that's what we do 99 percent of our lives. we met up with zack and his friends. they'res too many of them to name, but theyre funkids. we walked around. i laughed a lot, yeah good mall trip. we ended up leaving late again, so all the doors were locked and shit, it always happens to us, haha. it was a good night and we made a night stop at waw, good stuff. oh and let's just say ange is a reallly, really, happy person now =] hah
and a day before that me and ange went on an adventure. we decided to walk and meet eachother from our houses? Hmm interesting. we were supposed to walk to my house and to a deli but we didn't feel like walking all the way back once we met up. so we waited and then got driven to New egypt where we chilled the rest of the day. saw some kids, ate some good food. hung out in cvs hahaa, and got chinese. we took that back to my house and then we went to, you know where. the mall. haha, yeah we have too much fun, seriously. we drank way too many red bulls, way too many. oh yea and we saw keith there.
mall tonight hopefully =]
oh man, we've really become mall rats.
<3 spring break is way better then i thought it'd be..
i don't wanna go back to school :\
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| Freezing |
[04/01/07 @ 12:24am] |
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My house is freezing, mmhm.
So this week has been good, really good. Thursday ange and i stayed after and had a blast accualy. We got me something from charlie, thank god. I have horrible habits, ugh. Whatever. Then wandered around for a bit. Then I asked todd for something and he ended up staying with us. So we ventured around and went outside, then went into the schools court yard. We kinda had to crawl threw windows and such to get in, but we managed. So we talked there until 4:30, then went off the buses. I really thought that kid would be so much different then how he was. Its like that cliche stupid saying, you can't judge someone before you've really gotten to know them yourself. So that's not the saying technically but yeah.
Yesterday den left :[ but i mangaged to have a great day.
It really was a good day, i love my friends more then anything.
So friday means mallin with my lovely friend Ange.
We ended up seeing poeple we knoww, and met some new ones =]
Todd tried to sneak up on us in hot topic, but failed and made some lady spill coffee, smart!
We walked around then met up with Gabby, and her friend Kim and her boyfriend.
Of course we got a picture with the easter bunny? Uhmm. Yeah haha
After we traveled downstairs under the carosel, mad crazy area.
So out side we met some cool kids, Zack and Josh stuck with us until we left.
They were mad chill, they all were.
Good, good mall trip.
Of course it ended with Gloria Jeans.
I'm so pissed off right now, it's not even funny.
My choir trip is the friday of the Circa Survive, Cute is what we aim for, As tall as Lions, and EOTC, show in asbury.
Freaking stupid, i hate choir but im being forced to go.
Stupid.
Alright, bye.
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[03/21/07 @ 6:24pm] |
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i love the person that wrote this.
here's to the kids.
"Here's to the kids. Here's to the kids who would rather spend their night with a bottle of whiskey & Patrick or Sonny playing on their headphones than go to some vomit-stained high school party. Here's to the kids whose 11:11 wish was wasted on one person who will never be there for them. Here's to the kids whose idea of a good night is sitting on the hood of a car, watching the stars. Here's to the kids who never were too good at life, but still were wicked cool. Here's to the kids who listened to Fall Out Boy and Hawthorne Heights before they were on MTV...and blame MTV for ruining their life. Here's to the kids who care more about the music than the haircuts. Here's to the kids who have crushes on a stupid lush. Here's to the kids who hum "A Little Less 16 Candles A Little More Touch Me" when they're stuck home, dateless, on a Saturday night. Here's to the kids who have ever had a broken heart from someone who didn't even know they existed. Here's to the kids who have read The Perks of Being A Wall Flower & didn't feel so alone after doing so. Here's to the kids who spend their days in photobooths with their best friend(s). Here's to the kids who are straight up smartasses & just don't care. Here's to the kids who speak their mind. Here's to the kids who consider screamo their lullaby for going to sleep. Here's to the kids who second-guess themselves on everything they do. Here's to the kids who will never have 100 percent confidence in anything they do, and to the kids who are okay with that. "
Here's to the kids
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| life. |
[03/18/07 @ 10:59pm] |
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bring me the horizon :) |
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The snow ruined my weekend, but not completly. I still got the mall into my busy schedual, haha. It's really impossible for the weekend to go by with out mallin' as ange calls it. But wow i haven't wrote in here in forever and i think i really should. Lately i've been really happy, i'm content with life as it is right now. I know that thing's will work out for the best and thing's that make me upset are really not worth my time at all. It's really funny how much people have become mindless, judgemental, and mean. If i could count how many times this kid in my school puts down someone, i'd be past the amount of numbers i could count. If that made any sense at all, what im trying to say is its like he can't go a day with out talking shit on someone. If i didn't have to deal with him everyday then i would have smacked him and told him what a freaking jerk he is. Anyway, I really hope thing's stay the way they are right now. People need to start living life, stop mopeing, stop counting on other people to make you happy, and stop seeking sympathy from others. That doesn't get you anywhere and it sure does get people annoyed. If i could make some one happy every day i think i would, even though i, myself am not always the happiest person. I try to be, but i guess sometimes it is hard to deal with stuff. But, hey that's life. It's all a big game, just like the board game accualy. We have to learn how to play it the right way..
Anyway, i'm just gonna fill you in on the last couple of weekends, they've been worth typing about.
I go on adventure's, like these.
Last weekend;
Well on friday i was planning on seeing a movie with ange, denielle, tim, kate, alexa, indy, and danielle. but when we got there we couldnt get in the R one so were flipping out on what to do. Then secruity tells us to leave or go in a movie, ummm right. So we decided to run to shop rite. During this i put ange in a shopping cart while tim video tapes it. Let's just say she almost got hit by a car a couple of times. So we bought coffee stuff from the dounkin donuts, now we just wander around shop rite. Alexa, tim, I find some signs that we rip off the food section. Alexa = Organic, Tim = Fat Free, and I had Mangers Specail. Yeah, how funny are we. So then we hear the guy in the deli say he called secruity? So were like shitt, and we jet out of there. Then some lady was like excuse me, give me that. Meaning my sign :( so i'm running outta shop rite with ange and tim, and we thought everyone was behind us. Next stop, liquor store. Tim and me bought two packs of Red bull :) They were put in those brown bags so we figured we could have fun with that. Next stop, old lady store with our brown bags. But now it's tim, ange, indy, danille, and me. So the old ladies think we're just about insane and think were carring alcohol, so we leave before they can kick us out. Side note, We're all freezing with no place to go because the movie place kicked us out. AND half of us have to freaking pee. Another side note, It's only Tim, ange, danielle, and indy. Turns out we left Denielle alone in shop rite, she was flipping out. And kate and alexa took off to fridays. End of plaza adventure. Den's mom picked us up and we went back to her house. Us, meaning Ange, Tim, Danielle, Denielle, and Indy. We played manhunt and chilled on den's trampoline. we had fun car rides and random laughing fits. I love them, haha<3
then i went to the mall and such the rest of the weekend.
The weekend before that i got grounded so i only went out on Friday.
Damn parents.
So i went to the mall and hung out with Ange, Gabby, Monica, and later in the night Jay.
So we ran around the mall and went outside, but everyone was scared of smelling like smoke which was hard cause everyone outside (under the carosel) was freaking smokeing. so we came back inside and walked around. skip to buying rockstar and stupid cvs drinks, that were never payed for. then there were these secruity guards who suck at life, completly. So everything is closing but we pay no attention to that and go find the candy store and massage chairs. We sat there for awhile then i freaked out because sears was closing, where we had to leave from. So were running trying to leave but jay told us to chill cause we can go out the side doors. So we stay longer on the rides by the cookie place. As were leaving these kids behind us are a good distraction, bad idea. But anyway, we get out the side door and i didn't realize my parents were kinda right there, so gabby throws a ciggarette box she found on the floor over the fence, even worse idea. Skip to getting in the car and my mom asking who the kid was and how old he is, because Jay went and got in his own car. So my mom flipped out that and said i lied to her? Because i didn't tell her who i was hanging out with or their ages? Um, right mom! And then she brang up the cigg. over the fence deatail. and she got into "How do i even know you were at the mall. You could have been somewhere else with that kid" umm yeah, because i do that all the time. And then she got ever more mad cause it was almsot 10 and we came out of the side? Wow, parents suck. and seriously she shouldn't get pissed at that, i do worse anyway. God, parent's really suck, that must be the 3439349 time i've said that.
So that was the only thing i did that weekend.
Yeah, my life. I get kicked out of places and secruity hates me and my friends.
We're stupid. yeahhh!
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| i see what i've been running from |
[02/18/07 @ 8:52pm] |
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Well here's an update for now, i'll tell you about my weekend so far.
Friday i went to the mall with my two lovely friends, alexa and ange. we had a blast seriously i couldn't control how hard i was laughing that night. We got there and hung out for a bit then met up with charlie and his friends at the food court. we stayed there for awhile and met Zachy, charlies friend. he's freaking gorgeous. He showed us his and charlies robot dance. they cannot get anymore adorable. Then we ran around and found other kids. There was plenty more i cant remember but it was the greatest.
Saturday i hung out with Denielle, Gabby, and Tim. We went to see the messengers and got into some trouble. Tim laughs so freaking loud. Anyway the guy came in and basicly told us to shut up. So yeah, that was funny we played arcade games and laughed at random kids.Then den's parent's picked us up and we went back to her house. We stayed outside and slid on den's frozen yard. It was a blast. We went in cirlces and ice danced. I was chased and denielle took me down. we all sat out on the ice and chilled. After awhile of that we lost gabby and i walked into a bush, oh my. So then we all went into her room and Tim filmed me laughing my ass off at milstone kid's in the their old year book. hahaha, it was funny. Then i watched them make a film on Life ceral, the best ever. After a bit we all went back outside and slid on more ice. Great, great day.
Today i went back to the mall with ange and met up with Phil Dunn. We waited for him to get called in for a hair cut then while he did that me and ange walked around the mall. Gorgeous boys work at hollister, and go in there. We had fun and i laughed at the randomest thing's. After phil was done we went to find some food and all that. Then we had to find him a better hair color, which was done. Then we basicly walked around and were stupid. That was fun :)
My weekend was pretty darn good.
Enough updating, i'm watching mean girls.
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[02/15/07 @ 10:25pm] |
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How long has it been since i've written in here? Ages maybe, right before my birthday accualy. Well i can't possibly fill you in all the way from back there but i did have an awesome birthday. So let's just make this a "how is everything" sorta post. Lately thing's have been great, couldn't be better. I've learned to take the good with the bad and to get over thing's. Stuff doesn't always go your way, you know? Get over it and stop mopeing about stuff. Sometimes you really just need to believe in yourself, once you accomplish that then it's a whole new feeling. People need to take control of their own live's and stop letting shit get to them. You have the power to turn your life into any direction , it's just finding out which direction to choose that's the hard part. I used to have no faith in myself or anything for that matter, then thing's go to a point where i was like, wtf. what or where am i going with this, get me? I was finally like, I can do better then this. i did. I started trying to understand thing's instead of just wondering why i don't understand them. Once you know what you do need and what you don't it's different. I don't think you're understanding half of this considering it's just all my own thought's on how i've been rethinking and changing. Change is one huge process, it never really stops. It's just amazing and weird how you can learn so much from some people. And then it's funny how you learn so much and admire someone and theyre clueless to how wonderful they really are. I've learned one thing from someone and i wont forget it.
I said "I trust this person with my life"
He replyed "Never say. You can't trust anyone with your life."
I asked "So you don't trust any of your friends with your own life? How come?"
He said "Don't ever give anyone that power in your life. Everyone screws you over. If you and that person were in a life and death situation they wouldn't die for you. Everyone stabs you in the back or leaves. You make yourself weak and trust them with your life and your just asking to get screwd over"
I thought about that a lot and i started to re think this.
Maybe he's right and everyone does end up screwing you over?
I've never been stabbed in the back by the people who i'd trust with my life so i have no reason to not trust them.
But then, it just leaves me wondering.
I'm not sure how i feel about this, part of me believe's him and part of me says not everyone is like that.
Well, this is a post now isn't it?
Goodnight
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[01/20/07 @ 2:41pm] |
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ive comee the conclusion that conor oberst is the most amazing writer, ever.
this song is amazing
Last saturday I stood in your entry way
that place where we used to wait
for cars to carry us away
like once in this storm, they drove me and justin home
the music was just being born
it was all I was longing for.
Now im on a plane
off singing my songs again, oh please don't think ill of it
cause it's the reason I exist
But you, you're the crutch of a cripple
you're the calm of a conscience
you're the peace that I have found
when all these voices talk too loud, you are quietly reassuring me.
With the hands of a healer
and the tongue of a teacher
it's your voice that I have known
to be the first one on the phone.
Yeah, you ran all the lights to the hospital.
So don't you say to me
that life's a trap
the future is nothing but a tragedy
cause I'll be out of that window
yeah, I'll start wishing to die again
just say we're not walking backwards, kid
and show me to the door
and I'll walk behind
out into the hot sunlight
where the world's very much alive,
even when I close my eyes.
Well, should I admit
that my promise is counterfeit?
That I'm careless and childish
and that's all I can hope to be?
And would you concede
that I think only of myself
I refuse everybody's help
who has been reaching out for me?
Well, you reach with the soul of a sailor
and the swing of a miner.
You have cleared the rock away
leaving gold there in its place.
And it is more than anyone could claim
oh, with the sense of a banker
and with the touch of a tailor
you saved this life for me
and you have sown it to beauty
and I am grateful now and I will always be.
So would you sing with me?,
the song is all I know.
Some truths are told now only in a melody.
So I've been writing a new one
yeah, I've been taking my time with it
it's gonna be so perfect
it's gonna hold all of us inside of it
you will see
if you just add your harmony
I think it would be complete
and be worthy of singing
becomes a symphony.
Yeah, you're the cool of the water
you're the start of the summer
keep me still like a anchor
in a storm, you're the cellar.
When I'm heavy with worry, make me light as a feather
When I'm deafened by anger, you're the song I remember
With the grace of a dancer and the strength of a pillar
When I'm starving to suffer you just fill me with laughter.
You're a poet and a saint
You are the only one I choose to imitate.
Oh, like the love of a father through the eye of a camera
it's this picture I have seen
we're on a sloping hill of green
and you are walking there beside me.
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